This video “occupies” my heart.

myedol: Stair by Gabriella Gustafson & Mattias Ståhlbom Amazing, but would be so hard to navigate while drunk.  View high resolution

myedol:

Stair by Gabriella Gustafson & Mattias Ståhlbom

Amazing, but would be so hard to navigate while drunk. 

(Reblogged from myedol)

Hey, so, um.  These guys are having a live show on Thursday at the Drake Underground…  It sounds like it’s going to be pretty cool, or whatever.  And, like, we’ve known each other for a while now, and I was.  I was just wondering if you wanted to, maybe, like, go with me?  Like, it doesn’t have to be a date…  Unless… OK.  Bye. 

(Source: facebook.com)

Every time I sold a ticket to The Lorax, I imagined this video. 

Enjoy the movie, little Timmy.

Believe it or not, ladies.  I am not perfect.  Despite my horse urine facial regimen,  double dose of birth control, and reckless use of x-rays to keep my face soft and peeling off in chunks, I have had one or two zits, lol.  ;)  Here are my tips for dealing with acne, before it becomes a problem! 5) Spirituality: I pray to my spirit animal, Andy Richter to press his ghostly, ethereal lips upon my face and suck out the poison.  4) Verbal Abuse: Don’t be afraid to really let it all out.  Shame that zit out of existence, by telling it that it’s fat, cannot pull off red, and will never be as successful as the blackhead above your lip, which has stayed at the same position for at least 5 years. 3) Pre-Painted Masks: I have a series of masks I’ve painted for different occasions.  Formal, low-key, just woke up, etc.  They’re a real lifesaver, and from pretty far away, totally almost lifelike-ish. 2) Surprise Kabuki Day: Sure you may have to perform the entirety of The Love Suicides solo, but at least no one will know you’re a disgusting monster underneath that stage makeup. 1) Pick: Just get a thumbnail on either side, and fucking squeeze till that fucker pops, giving you every last fucking bit of the goo inside, and the hard part that lets you know you’ve gotten to the root of not just a zit, but also, the reason your parents can never really love you. (Spoiler, you ate a twin in utero.) (Fatty.) Well, now you know! Happy beauty, bitches. View high resolution

Believe it or not, ladies.  I am not perfect. 

Despite my horse urine facial regimen,  double dose of birth control, and reckless use of x-rays to keep my face soft and peeling off in chunks, I have had one or two zits, lol.  ;) 

Here are my tips for dealing with acne, before it becomes a problem!

5) Spirituality: I pray to my spirit animal, Andy Richter to press his ghostly, ethereal lips upon my face and suck out the poison. 

4) Verbal Abuse: Don’t be afraid to really let it all out.  Shame that zit out of existence, by telling it that it’s fat, cannot pull off red, and will never be as successful as the blackhead above your lip, which has stayed at the same position for at least 5 years.

3) Pre-Painted Masks: I have a series of masks I’ve painted for different occasions.  Formal, low-key, just woke up, etc.  They’re a real lifesaver, and from pretty far away, totally almost lifelike-ish.

2) Surprise Kabuki Day: Sure you may have to perform the entirety of The Love Suicides solo, but at least no one will know you’re a disgusting monster underneath that stage makeup.

1) Pick: Just get a thumbnail on either side, and fucking squeeze till that fucker pops, giving you every last fucking bit of the goo inside, and the hard part that lets you know you’ve gotten to the root of not just a zit, but also, the reason your parents can never really love you. (Spoiler, you ate a twin in utero.) (Fatty.)

Well, now you know!

Happy beauty, bitches.

I hate the new Rogers family.  The dad is such a smug asshole.  I even preferred the obnoxious twenty-somethings who were always camping. View high resolution

I hate the new Rogers family.  The dad is such a smug asshole.  I even preferred the obnoxious twenty-somethings who were always camping.

I went out for Halloween dressed as Little Pete.  No one got it, but my Petunia was outstanding.  Art by: Catflap/Dogdoor View high resolution

I went out for Halloween dressed as Little Pete.  No one got it, but my Petunia was outstanding. 

Art by: Catflap/Dogdoor

Comebacks I SHOULD have used in my childhood #87

  • Dude: She's the world's biggest loser.
  • What I Should Have Said: Maybe so, but I've got the world's biggest dick, and I hope you choke on it.

Comebacks I SHOULD have used in my childhood #37

  • Guy: You're really dressed like an improviser today.
  • What I Should Have Said: Yes, and... You're really dressed like a bag of douche today.
Totally.  Hot.

Totally.  Hot.